moneca 的个人资料..·.¸¸·´¯`·.¸¸.ஐ*~...Tha...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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1月30日 and no one will utter those words...i know wat you mean when the only thing you want in the world is to leave but everything you know just wont let you. when all you feel is soo freaking frustrated and nothing is going your way. how you live each day like its nothing and you cant wait to get it over it when you should be breathing every moment and living. how when you look at the week that just passed by and you feel like it was a waste of your effing life. no matter how much you want to exceed these ppl are bringing you down. when you want something out of your life....to be successful, to be someone in life, in this world. when you feel like its not worth it anymore cause no matter how much you fight to get out its like theres a deeper cut tht just wont let you out. how you feel so alone in this god forsaken place and the only thing you keep hearing is to hold on its not as bad as you say just take it a day at a time but all you rly wanna hear is i feel your pain i kno what you mean and no matter what im getting you out. it hurts more than ppl give attention to and its not their life they're messing up its urs. when the desires you want just isnt the same as these ppl. its like they're trying to plan your future for you but its not wat you want. you feel like your life is effing off course like there's no point in living when no one is hearing you scream. there's no reason in going on when no one hears your cry for help and all you can do is sit, feel like shit, and cry and no matter how much you cry you just dont believe anymore. you just feel it in your heart tht youre not getting out that no one understands no fucking person is gonna help you when they cant even help themself.
when all you want is for these words to be uttered: i feel your pain. i know what youre going through. youre not alone i promise 11月27日 my life lately...my life is normal as ever. starting the count down of doom...midterms in 3 weeks :( i went back to florida for thanksgiving visiting old friends and teachers and boy did i have a blast! it felt like i nvr left like i was always there i feel like i belong like im actually wanted...i guess im quirky :P to hang out we went to sawgrass and watch a movie and our plans were spoiled when the roof of the movies was on fire and the theater closed down for the rest of the day :( so we just walked around the mall and at the end of the day hung out at ron jons. i caught up w/ my bffs that i miss oh so terribly much! it was nice to see their warm welcoming sweet faces. i feel so out of place at "home" now, but the thing is...is it rly my home? 11月10日 ughHey Everyone!
okay so my birthday passed...some birthday it was but thats okay. as each day goes on i just miss my friends more and more. i'm happy to be with my mom and all but i'm just not happy here. the friends i have here i just dont know if they have my back. i'm so tired and exhausted. i feel like crying everyday all day. i've hung on and fought, i've been as strong as i could be and now im just too tired to hang on any longer. I JUST WANT TO LET GO :(( 10月27日 This crazy weekoh gosh i'm soo exhausted. This whole week has been so crazy. i went to ocean commotion thursday and i had so much fun although the little kids did wear me out. i made more friends who were mostly seniors b/c they were friends of my big sis. the day before that i went to a mentoring program where i helped middle schoolers w/ their science fair projects so that was a good experience. tuesday something happen i just don't remember senior moment -_- i had a test on friday on my ir and i think i didnt do so good. i told my mom and she just had this look of dissappointment. i couldnt reach her expectations :[[ on another note i rly miss my friends. i wish i could go visit them. we had this whole plan for thanksgiving but im waiting for my rents to give the OK and i rly hope they do. i'm rly excited for monday: my first class so i can get my permit!!! i've been waiting for such a really long time to drive :P so as you can see im having mixed emotions for such great things are happening with a mix of bad but hey shit happens ): 10月14日 A Poem I Wrote....Pressure, expectations
Exhaustion, aloneness
Feelings of which i feel
The weight of the world
To be bore on my shoulders
Pushing me, Urging me
I'm sorry mom
I'm sorry dad
I need to be my own person.
10月2日 The PLAN testOkay so it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Actually it was just testing what i knew and well I think i did pretty well especially for not studying. Actually, I don't think there's a way to study for it. Well i got out of school early and that was worth it. It's nice to have a day[or half] to relax. I really need a week of school off and soon. Just to stay home get caught up with the work and sleep. I procrastinate A LOT. I got to get new habits -_-" 10月1日 PLAN testingMy school is giving us a PLAN testing tomorrow. It's basically a pre ACT test and well i'm going to fail. I'm already stress with work and school i have to take a pre ACT?! What am I going to do? With work and school piling up I need to organize myself....now that's going to be hard :[[ well got to study study study :\ peace. 9月30日 my troublesMy weekend isn't one of the best i've had but isn't one of the worst. I got in trouble on Friday because i miss work, I was so exhausted i fell asleep :[[ Saturday and Sunday i worked all day so i'm still exhausted. I can't help but to miss my best friends. I wish I was with them. Talking to them everday is rly nice and all but it just isnt the same as spending actual time with them. I miss hanging out with them every week. I miss seeing them ever day. I miss making up a million inside jokes with them with in an hour. i miss going to the movies with them. i miss going to the beach with them. i miss just being around them. They've become like my second family. I miss my home town. I rly don't like where i am and the only reason i'm here is because of my mom. I wake up everyday with a fake smile so my mom won't have to worry so much about me. I pretend to love it here, to be fine, to be happy. when i'm rly depressed and exhausted. There's no one here that understands how i feel, what i'm going through, what i have to live with. I cry everyday silently so no one hears me. My heart aches so much and i don't know who to turn to. who can possibly know what i'm going through? who can possibly understand how i feel? who can possibly help me? who can possibly help me solve my problems? 9月29日 school....so the pep rally was yesterday. of course juniors won and my voice hurts. my friend screams so freaking loud! my right ear is deaf. but all is good. i had a good time the games were pretty funny altho i'd rather be at archbishop. but hey beggers can't be choosers. i rly miss my friends back in florida. the friends here are perfectly fine but they can never replace my best friends. i miss hanging out with the people who understand me most. i miss laughing all day about absolutely nothing with them. but most importantly i miss them :\ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- life is very exhausting. i'm soo stressed. my grades are going down i'm being forced to work. i miss my friends. this state moving thing is horrible. how do i solve this? 9月28日 HighschoolHighschool i'm told is suppose to be the BEST 4 years of your life. Some people experience it differently from others. As for me... i'm exhausted as could be. No matter how much i rest i still wake up agonizing to go to school. We're suppose to make long lasting friendships but i don't even feel comfortable around them to be myself. I feel like i'm carrying the world on my shoulders. I couldn't be more isolated, traped, abandoned, alone, forgotten, and Depressed.
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on a lighter note: i haven't been here in at least 2 years. It's funny to see how i use to think and what i wrote. It's like reading your diary you wrote when you were 5 hehe. Well anyways i've decided to come back and use my msn space and update it as much as i possibly can. so thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy ^_^ 2月4日 bak...Hey....srry i haven't been here for a while i've been busy. I've updated a few things and i'll add some mp3's and mv's when i have more time. if u r in a hurry to get some u can visit http://www.spaces.msn.com/members/thaigurlmint/ , it's my sis' space nd she has a lot of mp3's and mv's. 12月11日 ...Srry I haven't been here for such a long time since i have exams coming up and hw pileing up on me nd work 2 go to. I probably won't be here for a very long time so i'll try to update it later. Bye! My B-dayIt's almost my birthday!!! On November 3rd I'll be 13! Can't wait. Presents nd feeling special. Hopefully no1 4gets my b-day...ny1 wanna say happy b-day 2 me??? ny1??? ok i'll wait till November 3rd!!! Let's celebrate!
Me
v P' Mint--> 10月30日 MP3's nd MV's UpdateHey!!! I updated my mp3 nd mv list. there is more but i'll hafta put tht up later, so please enjoy wat i have ryte now. Thx!
 10月28日 Updated Jay Chou Media Lists
Updated mp3 list
10月23日 A Sad CommercialTranslations(credit to P'Mint): Doctor: one woman begged me 2 deliver the baby b4 the due day, when I asked her why she said "Our time is very short" After the delivery in 2hrs she picked up her baby and disappeared. One man is dying(some disease tht has 2 do w/ his brain) the most important thing is he shouldve given up and died a long time ago, in the time tht humans have 2 live we always ask ourselves "Y were we born? what were we born for?" The little baby was in the father's arms just in time. sometimes this question doesnt need an answer/doesnt need 2 be answered "Who do we live for?" DAD/Guy Dying: Dad/Man who is dying: Tua Lek(**thts what he's calling his son it means little one)! Take care of ur mother ok? Love ur mom alot. I love u and ur mother alot u kno? I really love u. Take very good care of ur mother 10月22日 Happy Birhday Rex!It's my friend's birthday today and i just wanted 2 say Happy Birthday to him! Although i never see him nymore he is still a really good friend 2 me so Happy Birthday Rex!!! May ur wishes come true nd may u have the best time today. Hope the girl u lyk lyks u bak...just playin w/ u, nd hope u get 2 c tht movie u wanted 2 c nd hopefully u'll get lots of money nd presents from ur friends and family!!!
no problem Rex 10月17日 HarisuHey Guys! Wat do u think of these pictures???
    Well "it's" name is Harisu. Yes it! Y? i call it because it's not a she but i don't think it's a he nymore so it's left w/ it. yea it's a transactual!!!
*LMAO* So wat did u guys really think at first be honest!!! |
Happy Birthday Rex!!!|
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